My personality doesn’t match the traditional idea of what a leader should be, so for years I doubted myself and tried to be something I’m not.

I compared myself to people around me. Gregarious, dynamic talkers who lead from the front and enjoy the spotlight.

By contrast I’m reserved, and spend more time listening and thinking than talking. I prefer to stay in the background.

Hiding away did me no favours.

I worked hard, got great results and assumed my work would speak for itself. But my career stalled. 

I knew I had to put myself out there if I wanted to progress. But I was reluctant to boast about my achievements. 

When I found a comfortable way to step out of the shadows, everything changed. Opportunities opened up and promotion to director followed.

Despite joining the senior leadership team of a breast cancer charity, I didn’t feel like a leader.

I was full of self-doubt. I worried my approach to leadership was not the ‘right’ one. I tried to be more like the outgoing people I believed were more suited to the job.

As a result I was exhausted, and that had a big impact on my wellbeing and home life. 

Eventually I was so depleted that I couldn’t string a sentence together when out with friends.

That forced me to reflect on how I was living. 

Important relationships were at stake.